tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345035765791206260.post8212540502198795381..comments2023-10-24T10:34:38.625-04:00Comments on Lakota Phillips' Hole in the Wall: Erotica Short - Exploring First Person FictionLakotahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14028892947791179389noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345035765791206260.post-24938288873377004382008-10-28T17:29:00.000-04:002008-10-28T17:29:00.000-04:00Not boo-boo's per se, just some possible adjustmen...Not boo-boo's per se, just some possible adjustments for flow and readability tense wise - the work is all yours and it's fantastic, as always (especially for something whipped off in a couple of days between all the other stuff you're always doing). :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345035765791206260.post-30338927656364939672008-10-27T19:19:00.000-04:002008-10-27T19:19:00.000-04:00Oh, you know I love this! You do know how to tel...Oh, you know I love this! You do know how to tell a story!<BR/><BR/>I've actually done that ice trick, by the way. Although it was in my mouth rather than my hand. I think his way is better because with my way, my lips were cold, so there was less contrast.Riff Doghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15791314230363729619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345035765791206260.post-56912700886616684272008-10-27T07:29:00.000-04:002008-10-27T07:29:00.000-04:00Thank you Jam!My friend Rob has found some boo-boo...Thank you Jam!<BR/>My friend Rob has found some boo-boos and very nicely provided corrections so i'll be reposting sometime today. Thanx so much for stopping by and commenting!<BR/><BR/>I got alot of great feedback on FB but not so much here. ~muwah!~L.P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/05748306284982275068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8345035765791206260.post-61666954271835164282008-10-26T08:49:00.000-04:002008-10-26T08:49:00.000-04:00wow! smoken hot. i do believe i need to go play....wow! smoken hot. i do believe i need to go play. i think you did a wonderful job in first person. wonderful.jamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17774116592815286894noreply@blogger.com