Saturday, July 11, 2009

First Draft Excerpt - Angelic Kiss

Excerpt from the new story in first draft form, which means there are definitely grammatical errors lurking. This isn't the beginning of the story - just an excerpt that will go in near the beginning. I'm still reworking and fiddling with the beginning - one of the hardest parts to work up in a story along with the ending. :P Let me know what you think.

Excerpt: Angelic Kiss

Spero placed a gentle kiss on her lips. The touch of his lips was sweet and left the cool, tingly aftertaste of fresh mint tickling her mouth. Eyes still closed, Sara inched forward for another taste. Her eyes flashed open in alarm as she stumbled forward into nothing, discovering that Spero had taken a step… a distressfully large step back from her. The satisfied look on his face reassured her that a sudden bout of stinky breath on her part hadn’t driven him away.

“That was nice. But could we do it again? Say for a little longer?” She smiled coaxingly, taking a step closer to him while wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“I like you.” Spero responded with a hint of reproach in his voice. He took another step back.

“Okay. I like you too.” Sara gave him a puzzled smile, then tilted her head slightly and teased, “typically that leads to more kisses and longer kisses.” She took another step forward, then huffed out an exasperated breath as he once again stepped back from her. Was it body odor? She had showered that morning. And used deodorant. Oh no. Maybe angels didn’t like kissing? Was it considered sinful? Oh god… ooops… golly – did that mean sex would be instant internment in hell? Oh, that would suck. Not to mention put a big fat crimp on the lusting for an angel thing.

“I like you…” Spero repeated hesitantly, before adding, “…and respect you. I don’t want to take advantage of you.” His perfectly formed mouth tilted in a bashful smile while he watched her with those amazing silvery grey eyes.

Sara quelled the urge to roll her eyes. Spero was shy. It was cute. Sort of. She had a sneaky suspicion that she was going to have to take the role of aggressor in the relationship if she planned to be kissed - and more - with any kind of regularity. Not that they had a relationship. Could a human and an angel even have a relationship? And where did you find the answers to those types of questions? Was there a Wiki-pious?

Glancing down at the toes of her red high tops so he wouldn’t see the amusement in her eyes and possibly feel being insulted, Sara said, “I promise I won’t be taken advantage of if you kiss me again. And I’ll still respect you in the morning too.” She couldn’t hide the tiny lilt of laughter that crept into her voice. This guy… angel… whatever… was just so entertaining.

Sara watched in disbelief as Spero’s shoes slid yet a step back from her. Unbelievable. It was just a damn kiss, not a marriage proposal! Okay, fine. She could take a hint that was whapped over her head, several times in rapid succession. The guy definitely did NOT want to kiss her again. Every ounce of humor fled as she glanced up, fisting her hands on her hips.

“Why the hell did you kiss me in the first place if you didn’t want to?” She demanded, cringing inside as she felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment. She’d practically thrown herself at him after his nearly plutonic peck at her mouth. God! Did they come anymore pathetic than her? He “liked” her. Hello. Key word for I just want to be friends, but in her oblivious state of angel lust she had taken it to be an invitation for more. Where was the nearest toilet? She so needed to flush her head a half dozen times.

“I did want to Sara. I told you, I like you.” Spero said, eyeing her curiously. It was obvious her sudden mood swing had him baffled.

At least he had stopped backing away from her predatory stalker self. Mentally kicking herself repeatedly, Sara shook her head in self disgust. It wasn’t his fault. There was something so innocent and openly trusting about Spero, that she knew he hadn’t intended to mislead her about his intentions. It was her own damn fault that she misread his signals, thinking he wanted HER, when all he really wanted was a friend. Her hormones were to blame. It was a crystal clear that it has been way too long since she’d been laid when she resorted to projecting lust on an angel for cripe’s sake.

“Look, I get it.” Sara said, her lips curved into a wry smile as she waved a hand in the air dismissively, “I apologize that I took a simple kiss to mean more than I should have. We’re all good, Spero.” Sara glanced around the bar as if an excuse to escape the awkward situation she was in might jump out and rescue her. She didn’t see an excuse, but she did notice the dark man, dressed in black jeans and t-shirt, leaning against a wall, watching her and Spero with unusual intensity. As soon as her eyes met his, he flashed a crooked grin and started a slow prowl in her direction. He didn’t walk her way, he glided. The hot look in his eyes set off a sizzling flush inside her. Uh-oh. If that wasn’t trouble headed her way then she didn’t know what was. One embarrassment an evening was her quota. Forget the excuse. It was time to cut bait and run.

Grabbing Spero’s hand, Sara rapidly shook it as she blurted in super-fast speak, “Well, it’s been fun Spero. Thanks for the kiss… I mean the drink. I need to head home. Maybe I’ll run into you again sometime. Good luck with all the angel stuff.”

Flashing him a falsely bright smile, she twisted to hurry away, but was brought up short when he didn’t release her hand, causing her to do a little bouncing stumble. His grip tightened as she frantically tried to tug it free.

“I don’t understand,” Spero frowned, ignoring her attempts to free her hand. “Why would you want to end our date so soon after we just agreed we like each other? Have I said something to offend you?”

“Date?” Sara squawked, gaping at him. Oh boy. Talk about mixed signals. Now she was completely confused. She had no time to process that thought since a pair of very warm hands settled on her hips and she felt the heat and hardness of a body press up against her from behind. She froze. No, no need to see who it was. She knew without turning her head, it was the dark stranger who had been watching them. His sensual aura that had screamed at her from across the room, wrapped itself around her like a scalding hot blanket.

“Who’s your pretty friend Spero?” a voice purred next to her ear as his hands flexed on her hips. A warm breath tickled the hairs along her neck causing her to tremble as her entire body blushed, from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. She had just been dipped into a vat of molten heat. The deep, accented voice touched her in places inside that it had no business touching. Especially while she still had her hand in the grasp of an angel.


Paul said...

Cool, well warm actually and getting hotter, woohoo,

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Off to a good start, babe. If you want some line-edit comments, we'll have to e-mail.