Friday, July 25, 2008

On Being Naive

A bit of babble and stepping off the "about writing" posts this morning. Though really, it's all interelated isn't it? How and what we write is influenced by our perceptions and experiences and fantasies. The psycholigical dance of the human beast is an intrical part of any tale.

I can be a ridiculously self-centered little diva at times. Not in arrogance (I don't think) but in naivity and the foolish projection that what i know to be true must be true for everyone (if only they would stop and think about it for a second). Oh, I'm not talking grand truths, or religious truths or even political truths. To each his own on that. I'm talking about being open-minded and nonjudgmental about personal truths. I'm talking about being aware of the fascinating diversity of the human mind and accepting that preferences in aspects of living life are as varied as stars in the sky.

Until recently, the past year or so, I bounced through life like a colorful beachball, bouncing off people, objects, ideas, circumstances - just merrily careening all over the place with a silly honesty and innocent belief that i could say whatever i was thinking and the people i bounced off of would just accept me or ignore me. I never considered that there were people who would take personal offense to the things I talk about and enjoyed. Or worse, that there were people who would try to manipulate me purely for their own entertainment. Uh, yeah - talk about naive. ~big old eyeroll at myself~

So I've learned to keep my mouth shut. Oh, not all the time. Obviously, I'm babbling here. But I'm alot more cautious than i used to be. Which is actually a good thing. Passionately talking about reading BDSM stories at a party - so not a good idea. (I now realize the riveted looks I got were not fascination but more like they were watching a train wreck.) Talking about paranormal erotic kink with writers - perfectly safe.
Ummm - i think it's called learning discretion on my part.
I still have a bit of the wild child in me... i guess it's a part of my personality or something because I simply CANNOT just behave. But I've learned to create appropriate places and groups with which to share the various parts of who I am. And to keep RL separate from my wilder ways.

And yeah, i used to actually babble quite openly about the need to toss away sexual preconceptions with veritable strangers, among other controversial topics. I thought the way to break down taboos was to discuss them openly. Silly wench.
Maybe naive wasn't the right word for me... maybe stoopid sums it up better.

12 comments:

charleneteglia said...

*hugs* Honesty is what makes for good writing, y'know. But yeah, it's hard to learn to put on the social filters. It's smart, though. The longer I'm in this crazy business, the more I realize how good it is to keep my mouth shut. : O

Kota said...

Yup. lessons learned, Charli. Which isn't a bad thing really. No matter how tough the lessons are at the time. :)

And I've always believed in "to thine own self be true" - it just doesn't mean laying it all out there for the whole wide world to see. :D

ozymandiaz said...

it is said that discretion is the better part of valor. Just so you'll know, though, you can discuss ANY subject with me and its cool.

Lakota said...

Nodding... i know that Ozy darling. I count you among my nearest and dearest. Hell, not everyone would go to the trouble of tracking me down when i run and hide! ~grin~

Arkay said...

No, not stoopid. Trusting, maybe? Which can get you into a world of trouble, I know. There is a huge difference between playing and reality. And not knowing the motives of the one you play with can be a disaster. (personal experience)

My Dad used to say to me, "No sooner do you speak, and you think." Gets me in trouble in crowds and with individuals on occasion. Seems like you encounter the same sort of thing.

Stay safe, ok? You have so much to offer the world with your words.

Julia Smith said...

Strangely, your unfiltered personality is what feeds your creative muse. Those who have solid social filters are generally not creative. So perhaps it is merely the price of admission to your own fabulousness.

Lakota said...

no worries Rob, this was more addressing my past idiocies. my future idiocies remain to be seen. that was a joke. i'm actually quite comfortable at the moment with the per groups i've established. and with the fact that i no longer do dumb things like tell the mayor about my kinky story writing just because he's a friend. duh. no i didn't really tell the mayor... though i would have a year ago if we'd been socializing and the topic of writing came up. not anymore. lips sealed.

you bring up a very very good point Julia and something i'll have to think more on. Does supressing ourselves in anyway negatively impact creativity. it probably does. i've painted almost nothing in a year.

gingatao said...

Compartmentalising I have also learned with you. I wouldn't say naieve or stupid since I have had a very similar experience. I would say you are too beautiful for your own good sometimes perhaps.

Disturbed Stranger said...

I never keep my mouth shut ;) I never filter my writing as well coz it feels dishonest.
More importantly I am the bluntest person you could ever meet :)
Great post! Great blog!

pure evyl said...

It is said that discretion is the better part of valor. I do not know if it is true or not but it can keep a person out of a lot of trouble. I learned this the hard way long ago so I feel for you.

pure evyl said...

Dang, I just read Ozy's comment. I guess great minds think alike.

Tina Trivett said...

I thought the way to break down taboos was to discuss them openly.

I too have learned to seperate my conversations. I'm open to everything...but have quickly learned that all are not as open.

Nice write, Lakota.