Tuesday, June 10, 2008

S-S-s-s-ex scenes

One of the toughest things to write in erotica is sex scenes that don't sound like every other fucking ~heh~ sex scene you've read. Also keeping multiple sex scenes in a story fresh and not "canned." I personally think I totally SUUUUuuuuuUUUCK at writing sex scenes that are creative and unique. It's an area of weakness i'm working on improving. I kind of just toss them in there as the story chugs along and worry about "fleshing" them out later.
Recently in a writers' group meeting I read the following scene that I thought was going to be boo'd out of the room. To my extreme surprise I was told not to change it, that the humor worked and the scene was hot.

We always are our own worst critics, aren't we? I thought I'd gone a little over the top with this but it had everyone laughing so maybe.... maybe i'll just leave it alone...

Garrett chuckled at her sassy response then growled, "Darlin', that is the biggest fib I've ever heard. I may just have to spank you for that one." He felt her shiver and knew she was thinking about him tying her up, spanking her pretty bottom red, then using a toy on her. He could smell the flood of moisture that signaled her aroused state. Grabbing her chin firmly, he turned her face toward him and nibbled gently on her lips for a moment. Sucking on her plump bottom lip he battled the need to toss her down and mount her. Her gasp and subsequent sigh of pleasure unraveled the last threads of his control. The heat flared wildly between them and he groaned, pressing his lips harder against hers. His tongue drove in, spearing between her lips. He devoured her mouth, licking, and sucking as they both grew more and more frantic.
Ripping open her robe, he roughly squeezed her breast, then pulled and tweaked her nipple. Lexie moaned, and then cried out as he pinched her nipple hard before moving over to the other neglected one. Pulling his mouth from her, Garrett enveloped her breast between his lips, his teeth nibbling, then carefully biting. He increased the pressure of his nips until she cried out and clutched his head closer. She tasted heavenly. Lexie moaned his name in protest as he released her nipple with an audible pop. Ignoring her fingers that tried to tug him back to her abandoned breast, he danced his tongue down her body. The muscles in her stomach quivered as he licked his way down to her belly button, where he teased and nipped until she arched into him. Her scent and taste wrapped itself all through him. He felt his wolf stretching, reveling in the pleasure her flavor gave him. It felt as though the essence of her was seeping into his skin, wrapping around him and through him.
"I have to taste you." Garrett growled, "I have to taste you right now."
He leaned down and quickly pulled her panties off. Biting a path up her thighs he felt her tremble. The whimpering noises that escaped her were making him crazy. Everything about this woman made him crazy. His hands were shaking slightly as he used his thumbs to spread her wide, looking at the petals of her vulva for a long moment. Her pussy was wet and swollen, pulsing with visible hunger and calling for him to claim it. He nuzzled her with his nose, inhaling her musky scent then swiped his tongue across her clit, causing her to cry aloud before he dove in licking and biting at her labia like a wild man. She tasted sweet and tart. She tasted perfect. Garrett shuddered and shoved his tongue into her as deep as he could force it, desperate to drink down every drop of her.
Lexie couldn't believe the animal noises coming from her throat as she bucked and pushed her cunt against Garrett's mouth with helpless abandon. Never, never had she felt anything this good. The grunts and growls he made as he devoured her was making her completely lose her mind as her body tightened more and more, reaching for an explosive orgasm. It was too much. It wasn't enough. She had never dreamed anything could ever feel this good. Her fingers were tangled in his long hair, holding him in place as she moaned and begged for more. Close. She was so close and she knew it would unlike any orgasm she had ever experienced before.
Garrett's monster cock tapped her cheek, causing her to look over to where it dangled just beside her head. Should she…. oh hell, why not, Lexie thought, scooting herself under Garrett's legs so his cock hung dead center over her mouth. For some reason Garrett's freak of nature was making her mouth water. She took a tentative swipe across the tip with her tongue. Garrett reared up cursing, before diving back into her cunt with crazed abandon. Lexie smiled. Heh. Take that, she thought, then cried out as his teeth took hold of her clit and he sucked on it hard. Her pussy gushed, cream trickling past his feasting mouth and sliding down the crack of her ass. With determination and no small amount of revenge, Lexie swallowed the head of his cock, sucking and licking as much of his cock into her mouth as she could fit. She was definitely not a pro at giving blows, but if the sounds he was making were any indication she was doing just fine, thankyouverymuch. Her cheeks hollowed as she swallowed him with enthusiasm, determined to give him as much pleasure as he was giving her.
"Goddess damn!" Garrett howled, thrusting his hips helplessly, forcing his cock deeper into her throat. Lexie gagged for a second, and then wrapped both hands around the beast to keep it from suffocating her. She stroked her hands up and down its wet length as she continued to suck and tease.
"Oh you evil bitch!" Garrett cried out, "That feels too damn good!"
His wicked tongue drove into her, reaching impossibly deep inside as he slide it in and out in a mimick of fucking that caused her to buck and wail. Garrett lifted his face from between her legs, his chin wet with her cream. "I'm about to come, Lexie. If you don't want to swallow, you better stop right this second."
Lexie sucked harder. Garrett roared, then latched on to her clit and bit. Lexie screamed and exploded, his cock thrusting even deeper, muffling the sound as they both came in a fury of thrusts and cries. She must have blacked out Lexie realized as she weakly lifted her head and looked over to where Garrett was still shivering and groaning.
"Baby, I'd hug you but I can't fucking move." Garrett mumbled.
Lexie snickered, and rested her head against his thigh.
"I can't either." She giggled. Looking over at his now deflated but still impressive cock, she said, "I still think you should be tagged as lethal."
"You say the nicest things," he mumbled into the blanket.


Anonymous said...

You did good (grin).

Lakota said...

thanks Jo...x4!

Anonymous said...

It is one of the hardest (haha) things to write well, erotica but you have done a wonderful job as usual. The humour adds depth. I think one of the keys is to make them real people, distinct individuals rather than just cartoon characters and the humour and the other small touches really achieve that in this piece. It has great momentum too, the pace and intensity increase and carry the reader through to the CLIMAX! They are very noisy, I wouldn't want to be in the room next door, haha. It's great writing, you rock!

Lakota said...

thanks GingaPaul - if you got a sense of the characters from this without all the former chapters, then i have done okay. There's alot of humor in this book - wacky humor. I think sex should be fun.
And since I write paranormal erotica, there's also witchy types and werewolfies. ~grin~
love me some werewolves.
and i tend to be very noisy, so of course my characters are as well. ~wink~

Gadfly said...

Wow, you are a rough'n'tumble chick. Even I wouldn't bite a clit in the heat of the moment -- and I'm evil LOL

I love the way you worded that. Not knowing for sure what way you were going with the paranormal, you had me just worried enough. *laughing*

"She's not gonna ... Tell me she's not gonna ..."

"Baby, I'd hug you but I can't fucking move." Garrett mumbled, wagging his tail contentedly

"You're the best dog I've ever had," she sighed.


Lakota said...

artistic license Gaddy-baby, like duhhhh. ~heh~
actually i do like some biting. but that's neither here nor there... or anywhere sadly enough. 'Kay nuff with the pity party.
it sounds better and has greater visceral impact on the reader to say he latched on and bit, than to say "he bit, but really not so hard... just a kind of gentle bite that really was more of a nibble"

Yeah, werewolf sex - it walks a freaky line there i know, between taboo and acceptable. i need to write a post about it. There is a sex scene in the book that pushes ever so slightly at that envelope. Why? Because it's there to be pushed. :P